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How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count The Ways!

2/4/2018

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I wanted to share an interesting story (with the permission of one of my lovely clients, who shall remain nameless…). We were talking about positive self-talk vs negative “chatter” and the conversation turned towards self-love. I noticed that her body language changed and she shifted a little in her chair, obviously uncomfortable. I asked what was making her uncomfortable and she said

​“I don’t really know HOW to love myself.”

Such a simple and honest statement. I have pondered on it for a few days and it occurred to me that this is such a commonality among women. I am guessing that it is true for most of us and is probably one of the main reasons why we live in a society where it is common to swallow/avoid our pain rather than work on our issues; whether it is in the form of alcohol, pills (prescription or otherwise), excessive work, or unhealthy food. Anything to fill the void.

We don’t know how to love ourselves. 

I mean, we know we are capable of love. We also know how to love others. And presumably, people love us. So, why is self-love such a challenge?

I think that as babies we naturally love ourselves. We really have no reason not to, do we? Generally speaking, we are born without baggage or flaws. We are perfect little creatures with pure little spirits that go about our day pleasing ourselves…but as we grow older we are scolded and told that putting ourselves first is selfish; loving ourselves is vain; and it is improper to do either.

What we aren’t taught is the difference between healthy self-love and care—and selfishness and conceit. The distinction is never really made; and since we mainly learn by example, our mothers probably never really role modeled healthy “self-care” either, did they? They did "teach" us that self-sacrifice is the epitome of love; because that is what they were taught.

So we learn that self-criticism and ignoring our own needs to the point of discomfort is perfectly acceptable and even expected. We make the mistake of thinking that “negative self talk” and being “humble” are one in the same; that loving ourselves somehow makes us conceited or selfish. Does that seem messed up to anyone else, or is it just me?

Yes, vanity is an undesirable trait…and for sure, IF we put ourselves first before meeting the needs of others ALL THE TIME…that might not be so kind, but here comes the big but…What is wrong with loving ourselves? Why is it bad taking a little time every day to care about our bodies and rejuvenate our spirit? What harm can come from that? Who will suffer from our peace of mind? Will our self-assurance and confidence damage the ones we love?

And here are better questions—what will we gain from it? What doors will open? What will it teach our children—our  daughters and sons? What improvements will we see, both physically and mentally?

Here is what I know. It is easier to make positive healthy choices when you love yourself. It just comes more naturally. When we are feeling joyous, we have more energy and motivation to move our bodies.

So here is the million dollar question…how do you learn to love yourself?
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Through positive affirmations and treating yourself in the same way you do your loved ones. Caring for 
you the way you do for them. It will seem so unnatural at first; even uncomfortable…but keep doing it anyway. You ARE capable of learning to love yourself but you have to practice. If I handed you a didgeridoo and asked you to play it for me, you would laugh from embarrassment and point out that you have never played the didgeridoo before… and then when you tried, it would sound sort of like a walrus giving birth to an elephant (yes, take a moment to picture that)…but the more you practice, the better you’d get at it…and before you know it you are a world class didgeridoo aficionado.  This is no different…ok it is a little different, but you get the point.

When I tell people that it is that simple, I almost always get the raised eyebrows and the long-suffering sighs. Yes, I get it. It does seem like new-aged, hocus pocus, mumbo jumbo, bogus crap. But think about this…you are doing it already. You are doing affirmations EVERYDAY when you say/think things like:

“I am fat”

“I will never lose weight”

"I am lazy"

“I am so stupid”

“No one respects me”

“I have no willpower.”

These are negative affirmations and they play over and over in our mind until they become our “truths”. So now, when you catch yourself doing those nasty little affirmations…and now that I have pointed it out to you, it will be glaringly obvious…turn them around and say:

“My body is healthy and beautiful!”

“I love to challenge myself because I meet my expectations every time.”

“I am good and kind and generous to the people I love, including myself.”

“I make healthy choices because I love myself”

“I am filled with wisdom and life experience”

“I respect myself and I deserve love from everyone, including myself”

“I have the strength to do whatever needs to be done”

These are absolutely, undeniably TRUE statements.  And you deserve to hear them. So learn to love yourself and in turn you will be a much better mother/sister/partner/friend/employee/insert other important roles here.

Your cup will be full.

Void? What void?

Live Well,

Jennifer Vettor
R.H.N. 
​Reiki Master Practitioner

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This is a didgeridoo...I could have used any instrument in this analogy but it is so much fun to say didgeridoo.
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Instead of saying "What's your problem?"... Try asking "What's your story?"

1/25/2018

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 We are more alike than different and it's reassuring to know that we are not alone, that people understand, that we're relatable. It's time to remove the stigmas associated with mental health, and for our health care system to recognize that health care means treating the whole person, using both traditional and holistic methods and modalities, along with counselling and medication, and understanding that it all matters; body, mind and spirit...it's all connected. Treatment for mental health issues should be just as readily available and accessible as vaccinations, annual check ups, health screening, treatment for ear infections, mammograms, prostate exams etc etc etc....

So in the spirit of removing the stigma, I want to share my story. I was raised by man who was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. We did not talk about it very much as a family and as a child I learned to walk on egg shells around him, terrified most of the time. To me he seemed angry, impatient, sullen. I did not understand what he was going through and I took his behaviour personally. I thought he didn't love me. I avoided him as much as possible because most of the time I felt fearful of him. I was terrified of his outbursts and confused by the "highs and lows" he exhibited. 

When he was "happy", I felt his love. He was funny and charismatic and playful....but oh those dark times were horrible. I hated them! As a child I learned to gauge his moods....read his expressions oh so carefully...because he would flip without warning and I didn't want to be anywhere near him when that happened. I just learned to cope and adjust, developing coping mechanisms to protect myself just until I could move out and distance myself from him.

And that strategy worked....until I did move away from home and I realized that my coping mechanisms just added up to a whole lot of unresolved issues and baggage that I still carried with me on a daily basis. 

When I had my first child, my son, I got the baby blues BADLY. It was confusing for me because it seemed like everything was ok. For me, this life-changing experience that was suppose to be exciting and happy, really catapulted me into a state of confusion, a plethora of negative emotions and feelings that I couldn't control or "shake off". The coping mechanisms that protected me as a child were now manifesting into depression, anxiety, PTSD....those mechanisms were no longer required....and yet here they were, inhibiting, interfering, detrimental and harmful in so many ways. 

I wish I could say that I found a way out of it, but sadly I didn't. I just learned to smile through it and do the best I could. Thankfully my son was an easy going child and I didn't have much stress. I had the time to sleep and eat and take care of myself, and this allowed me to maintain relative balance. I was coping ok!

Then my second child, my sweet daughter, came into my life. She was a firecracker and to say I was unprepared would be the understatement of the century. Again those baby blues feelings hit full force, but this time I DIDN'T have the time, energy, space, or ability to manage them. I felt like I was on a locomotive train driving at full speed towards crazy town. I wasn't getting sleep, I was eating junk food like crazy (food addict...a whole other story), and on top of all of this....my gorgeous new baby was HIGH maintenance. 

She confused me. All the strategies I had learned and used to calm down baby number one and keep him happy, had no effect on her. She didn't sleep, she needed constant activity and attention, and she was very insistent on it....crying all the time. I was exhausted, overwhelmed and impatient. Nothing I did made her happy and I was too exhausted to even try to figure her out. 

Boy did that precious bundle trigger me! (Of course I didn't know that at the time....) I did my best to be a good mom, but I felt like I was spinning out of control. I felt like a failure and the worst mom on the planet....and sadly, this did nothing to help me attach to my lovely daughter. My old coping mechanisms kicked in. I misinterpreted her needs as being "needy". Her demands were weighing on me, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Her tears and sporadic moods made me feel useless, uncomfortable and definitely unloveable (just like my father had made me feel) and my strategy was to distance myself emotionally, or be constantly triggered. (Yup, by all accounts, it does seem unreasonable and delusional, but at the time I couldn't see any of that. I was just in a state of concealed and quiet panic.)

Don't get me wrong, I took care of her basic needs and cared for her, but my own mental health challenges definitely blocked our ability to bond. I recognize that now. I only wish that I understood this at the time because if I knew what was happening I could have taken the steps to improve things. Instead NO ONE talked about these things. I felt shame and embarrassment. I didn't want to admit I was struggling so much, that I was failing as a mother. Mothers are suppose to be in love with their kids; happy, consistent, patient and caring, right? What if I talked about my fears, my feelings, my inadequacies and they took my kids away? 

Oh the fear, the uncertainty, the stigma! 

So we just pushed through and I wish I could say it was easy, but it wasn't. We just went deeper down the rabbit hole and the problems got bigger and more confusing. The mental health issues were now generational, passed on down like an unwanted family heirloom; an antique we just can't seem to part with so we hide it in the shadows. From my father (and those who came before him), to me, and now to my offspring.... 

Someone had to break the cycle.

It wasn't until my daughter began struggling with her own challenges that I started recognizing the patterns and my part in the cycle. I was blessed to have a loving husband who was SO patient, validating, and supportive to me; allowing me the time and space to work these things out. I wanted more than anything to be healthy, in body, mind and spirit and I came to realize that I needed to understand myself better, to understand what all of these feeling meant (even the ones I didn't know I had or that I recognized at the time) and how they developed, so that I could not only start the healing process in myself, but I could help my child understand it as well. 

Once I RELEASED the shame and the guilt, I had room to expand my understanding. I dug deep and learned as much as I could; I talked to councillors; I read everything I could get my hands on; I opened my mind to many different strategies and healing modalities; I improved my nutrition; I absorbed everything with curiosity and hope.

With this new understanding I was able to open my heart and forgive my father and understand the pain he was in, to forgive the generations before him, and to forgive myself, all through unconditional love.

Through my own healing I am now better able to understand, appreciate and admire my beautiful child more; loving her unconditionally and with my whole heart. We have started the process of healing our relationship and are working towards strengthening our bond. It isn't always perfect but it is progress. I am here for her on her own journey of healing, and I always will be. I will always have her back. 

I have learned it is NEVER too late. 

It has taken a long time and a lot of work to get me where I am today and it wasn't a straight path. At times it was one step forward three steps back. It was a curvy, choppy, ugly, bumpy, pot-holed road, filled with mistakes and poor judgment, but with every step, I was learning and growing and getting stronger.
 
My own healing journey has allowed me to be a better person, mother, partner, and healer. I am more loving and patient and empathetic than I ever imagined I could be, towards others but most importantly, to myself. Through the dark I was able to find the light and I have no regrets. I am grateful for the lessons. I love who I am evolving into. My healing is an ongoing labor of love. It is a daily practice.

This is who I am....each and every one of us has a dark side and a light side, and they are both equally important... neither bad or good...just neutral opportunities to learn more about ourselves, and to expand. When we take away the shame we allow ourselves the unconditional love and space we need to become the best versions of ourselves. This is why we need to #endthestigma, so we can feel safe enough to start the healing process. 

Namaste. I bow to the divine in you.

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Jennifer Vettor ~ Reiki Master Teacher, RHN
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Address at the 2016 CW Women's Expo

2/22/2016

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The After School Feeding Frenzy

9/8/2015

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School is back in session! If you are a parent, it can be a challenge making sure your kids are eating healthy, especially if they are teens or in-betweens! Let’s face it, as parents we have limited control over what our offspring choose to scarf down, especially when we are not around; so creating a healthy food culture in our home is imperative to making sure, that at least some of the time, they are getting some top notch nutrition! 

I have found the best time to offer healthy options is right after school! Chances are, our little bundles of joy are ravenous when they get home, and if your kids are anything like mine, they will pretty much eat right down to the drywall when they walk through the door. So below are some healthy snack ideas to offer those insatiable appetites....but unless you want all these healthy fruits, vegetables and snacks to expire in your fridge....avoid buying the cookies, chips, and processed foods laced with sugar and salt. If they see them, they eat them. It is so important to offer things that are already prepared or easy to assemble....it is human nature (but especially kid nature) to grab whatever is easy, especially when you are “starving”.

Feel guilty about depriving them? Don’t. I promise you, if they really want junk food, they will find it in every other nook and cranny in their lives. You can set the standard at home, guilt free, knowing that they will eventually appreciate and implement a culture of healthy living in their grown up lives. Please be patient if they whine or complain (it does happen)....their picky pallets are trained to love sweet and salty....it is important to be consistent and encouraging as they learn to develop a taste for clean foods. They most likely will try and wear you down. Be strong! 

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Organic yogurt with fruit and a drizzle of honey (avoiding sugar-laced yogurt drinks or yogurt sticks that are heavy on added ingredients and food dye).

Whole-wheat or gluten free crackers served with almond butter and/or fruit spread (organic apple butter).

A handful of unsalted nuts (almonds, cashews or a mix)

Frozen grapes or cherries (I kid you not....tasty!) 

Popcorn (Not microwaved popcorn! You can pop your own; control the butter and salt content and there are no added preservatives or ingredients)

A veggie plate with broccoli florets, celery sticks, carrot sticks, green/red peppers, cucumber etc. served with homemade dip! Hummus is a good option. (Epicure offers some delicious dips mixes that can be stirred into plain organic greek yogurt.)

Fresh fruit (probably a no brainer....apples, oranges, clementines, pears, berries, etc.)

Fruit kabobs

Apple slices or banana rounds topped with almond butter and raisins

Yogurt Smoothies (make your own with organic yogurt, hemp/coconut/almond milk and fresh fruit...even a little honey for sweetness)

Homemade trail mix (an assortment of nuts, seeds, raisins etc.)

Deviled eggs (I use avocado in place of mayonnaise...talk about amping up the nutrition factor!)

Toss chopped pecans, raisins or craisins into plain instant oatmeal, add a dash of almond milk and a drizzle of honey.

Organic corn tortillas topped with organic salsa and greek yogurt (in place of sour cream). 

Homemade cookies/muffins made with only healthy ingredients! 

Leftovers from last night’s healthy supper can sometimes be the healthiest snack of all!

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Get your kids involved! Have them research healthy muffin/cookie recipes on the internet, with the promise that you will provide all the ingredients to bake them! This can be a fun activity to enjoy with your kids, and you just may be able to get them to put their phones down for 20 minutes....ok ok....maybe that is a stretch....

The most important thing you can do for your kids and teens is to live a healthy life yourself. Your good examples will not go unnoticed. It may not seem like they are paying attention....but they are. 

Live Well,
Jen
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Jennifer Vettor is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, a Certified Health Coach, and a Reiki Practitioner. She is currently practicing with the professional health team at the Shift Family Health Centre in Fergus, Ontario but also works with clients through Skype.  For more information visit www.anchorwellness.com. 
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6 Easy TIPS for Healthy Summer BBQ's!

7/31/2015

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Eat before you go!

It doesn't have to be a full meal. Just a healthy snack that will ensure you are not "starving". It is easier to make healthy choices when you aren't feeling hungry. 

Contribute something that’s good for you.


Offer to bring a healthy potluck dish. This way you know that you’ll be able to eat something nutritious, no matter how decadent all the other offerings are.

Pay attention to portion sizes.

Your clenched fist is a good visual to measure starchy side dishes, like potato salad or macaroni salad. Aim for 1 cup or less (in total) of these high carbohydrate side dishes. 

Use your cell phone. Your phone size  will provide approximately 3 ounces of  steak, chicken or fish.

Fill up on vegetables first.

Make your first trip to the buffet a huge plate of green salad and veggies. This will take the edge off and allow you to continue making healthy choices though out the meal. 

Ditch the Bread.

Your burger will be just as delectable with all your favourite toppings minus the bun....trade in the bread for a fork and a knife and enjoy!

Be Playful! 

Step away from the buffet and go play! Enjoy getting involved in the activities. Maybe it is a game of Bocce, a volleyball match, or a dip in the pool. The goal is not to get in a work out....it is to keep busy and enjoy every part of the day without just focusing on the food. 


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TIP:  Fruit Kabobs are a fun, healthy dessert that are pretty and easy to make! Guests will love them! 









Jennifer Vettor R.H.N.
www.anchorwellness.com

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How does a Holistic Nutritionist Approach Weight Loss?

5/19/2015

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The main problem with the "weight loss industry" is that their focus is typically a one sized fits all approach, without taking into account that each of us are individuals with specific health concerns and emotional issues. Without addressing the root cause of weight gain, including the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects, weight loss is challenging; and often times temporary. 

As a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, my focus is uncovering the truth behind your weight gain and treating it as the symptom, NOT the problem. This is successfully addressed through detailed focused nutritional assessments and personal one on one coaching. 
Book your free 15 minute consultation today, and start your healthy life. 
Jennifer Vettor is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, a Certified Health Coach, and a Reiki Practitioner. She is currently practicing with the professional health team at the Shift Family Health Centre in Fergus, Ontario but also works with clients through Skype.  For more information visit www.anchorwellness.com. 
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It's all about the love! 

4/1/2015

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Jennifer Vettor is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, a Certified Health Coach, and a Reiki Practitioner. She is currently practicing with the professional health team at the Shift Family Health Centre in Fergus, Ontario but also works with clients through Skype.  For more information visit www.anchorwellness.com. 
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Less is more, more or less....

10/17/2014

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What exactly has changed in the past 30 years? The introduction of GMO crops, more pesticides, more sugar, more chemicals, more toxins, more drugs; more more more.

Is it possible, even a little, that our kids are sicker, weaker, obese, and depressed because their digestive systems are being overloaded with toxins and they are inadequately absorbing and assimilating vitamins and minerals? That their brains and bodies are literally starving for nutrients?  That their immune systems are being compromised?


Does it make you wonder?

The food industry and the drug industry says "there is not enough evidence to support that hypothesis...."

I say, How much more "evidence" do we need? We can see the results of the past 30 years right under our noses.

More heart disease, more obesity, more allergies  more depression, more cancer, more diabetes, more addiction, more more more....Coincidental? 

I say it is time to end the apathy and trust our instincts.

Do we really need studies funded by the very industries that stand to lose the most, to tell us that the results are inconclusive? They are getting rich off of our apathy, trust, and blind faith. I call bullshit on their biased studies. What do you think? Hasn't this all been just a little too cozy; that many of the same companies that provide us food, are also the same companies pushing medication?

No more. 
No more. 
No more.

Opt out of this madness; one meal at a time. 
Enjoy honest, nutritious, real food.

Live Well,

Jen


Jennifer Vettor is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, a Certified Health Coach, and a Reiki Practitioner. She is currently practicing with the professional health team at the Shift Family Health Centre in Fergus, Ontario but also works with clients through Skype.  For more information visit www.anchorwellness.com. 

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October 17th, 2014

10/17/2014

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Take pleasure in every meal. Be PRESENT. Prepare your meal with intention; enjoy the scents, focus on the textures and the flavours, allow every bite to nourish you. Make the act of eating an experience and allow it to fill you physically and emotionally. When you are invested in the experience, you will be more fulfilled. Connection and accountability empowers us to make food choices that strengthen our bodies, minds and spirits. 


Live Well,


Jen

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A Day of Delicious of Healthy Meals! 

9/18/2014

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Blueberry Breakfast Smoothie
Serves: 1 (400 Cals) 

Blueberries may neutralizes free radicals which can affect disease and aging in the body. They rank number 1 in the world of antioxidants. This is mainly due to presence of Anthocyanin, a pigment responsible for the blue color of the blue berries. The abundance of vitamin-C is also a big factor for this as well. It is also very important to start your day with protein! This delicious recipe will help you to manage your blood sugar and keep you satisfied until lunch.

1 serving whey protein isolate (vanilla)
1/2 cup 2% plain Liberte Goat or Greek Yogurt 1/2 frozen banana (optional)
1/2 cup frozen blueberries
1 tablespoon chia seeds
1/2 cup water and ice cubes.

Blend until smooth!

An Easy & Healthy Lunch!

Chickpeas (or Garbanzo Beans) have so many health benefits! Garbanzos contain about 12.5 grams of fiber per cup. That's 50% of the Daily Value which offers amazing digestive tract support. As well they offer a unique supply of antioxidants and are remarkable food in terms of their antioxidant composition. But maybe most importantly, they help to regulate blood sugars. Fiber and protein have an amazing ability to help stabilize the flow of food through our digestive tract and prevent the breakdown of food from taking place too quickly or too slowly. When food passes through us at a healthy rate of speed, release of sugar from the food is typically better regulated. This allows us to manage not only our 3 O’Clock cravings....but may help to control our body weight.

Lemon and Basil Chickpea Salad

Serves: 6 (225 Cals/serving)

2 cups chickpeas (pre cooked)
1/2 small red onion finely chopped
1 small red bell pepper, finely chopped 1/2 cup of corn (fresh or frozen)
2 ounces Feta Cheese, crumbled 

1 clove garlic, minced
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice Fresh Basil, chopped finely
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Directions

Combine chick peas with onions, peppers, corn and Feta.
Mix together Garlic, Basil, Lemon Juice, Olive Oil and Salt and Pepper and pour over Chickpea mixture. 

Refrigerate. Let the flavours set for 2 hours.

Dinner in Under 40 Minutes! 

Cabbage is an excellent source of vitamin C and a very good source of manganese. The antioxidant richness of cabbage is partly responsible for its cancer prevention benefits. All types of cabbage contain significant amounts of polyphenols that provide anti- inflammatory benefits. Without sufficient intake of anti-inflammatory nutrients, regulation of our inflammatory system can become compromised, and we can experience the problem of chronic inflammation. Chronic inflammation is a risk factor for development of cancer. Eating your cabbage is easy with this yummy meal!

Unstuffed Cabbage Rolls

Serves: 6 (250 Cals/serving)

2 pounds ground turkey
1 large onion, chopped
1 small head cabbage, chopped
2 (14.5 ounce) cans organic diced tomatoes 1 (8 ounce) can organic tomato sauce
1/2 cup water
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground black pepper

Directions

Heat a Dutch oven or large skillet over medium-high heat. Cook and stir ground turkey and onion in the hot pan until browned and crumbly, 5 to 7 minutes; drain and discard grease. Add cabbage, tomatoes, tomato sauce, water, garlic, salt, and pepper and bring to a boil. Cover Dutch oven, reduce heat, and simmer until cabbage is tender, about 30 minutes.

Guilt Free Dessert!

These brownies are easy to make, good for you, fudgey and chocolatey. What more can you ask for? The most challenging part of this recipe? Waiting for them to cool before eating!

Black Bean Brownies

Serves 12 (135 Cals/serving) Ingredients:

1 can black beans, rinsed until they stop foaming 4 tbsp raw cocoa powder
1/4 tsp salt
2/3 cup oats (Gluten free)

1/4 cup raw honey
1/3 cup coconut oil
1 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup dark chocolate chips

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350. Pour all ingredients except chocolate chips into the blender and pulse for 60 seconds. Then blend until smooth for another 45 to 60 seconds. The batter is ready when it's a smooth consistency.

Grease and 8 x 8 baking pan with coconut oil. Pour batter into the baking pan and fold in chocolate chips. Approximately 25 minutes in oven. Let cool for about 10 to 15 minutes.

Balance out your day by including fresh fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds as your in between meal snacks. Nutritious food is the foundation of a healthy, well balanced life: In body, mind and spirit. 


Namaste and live well! 


Jen

Jennifer Vettor is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, a Certified Health Coach, and a Reiki Practitioner. She is currently practicing with the professional health team at the Shift Family Health Centre in Fergus, Ontario but also works with clients through Skype.  For more information visit www.anchorwellness.com. 
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